Collection Point for Stolen Egyptian Antiquities to Be Established at New Egyptian Museum

Egyptology Today (Egypttod.com) reports that a new museum affiliated with the Egyptian Government set to open in the Washington, D.C. area will also act as a collection point for stolen Egyptian antiquities:

Alexandria, Egypt, April 1, 2014: The Egyptian Government announced today the re-launch of a new museum devoted to ancient Egypt in a Washington, D.C. suburb.   The new museum will replace a Masonic memorial to George Washington, built in Alexandria’s sister city in Virginia. The monument, built in the 1920’s, is based on the imagined design of the famous Pharos Lighthouse. According to world famous archaeologist and once and future Antiquities Pharaoh Zani Hanass,  plans for the museum, which were put on hold during Egypt’s so-called “Arab Spring,”  are back on track under the leadership of Egypt’s glorious military, with new funding from their fraternal brothers in arms in the Chinese People’s Liberation Army, and its wholly owned subsidiary, PolE Group.

 PolE Group is a world renown expert in Chinese antiquities, but hopes to apply its knowledge and collector contacts to artifacts from another great ancient culture, that of Egypt.   According to world famous archaeologist Zani Hanass, PolE will lend its expertise in identifying and valuing stolen Egyptian antiquities that will be turned over by US Government authorities pursuant to a long planned MOU with Egypt.   That MOU, which will be signed at the museum’s grand opening, halts the U.S. sale of any antiquity lacking a stamp of approval from the government in Cairo.

 Asked to comment about the use of the new Museum as a collection point for stolen antiquities, Gill Barmore, a spokesman for Das Kapital Archaeological Institute, was ecstatic, “Finally, America will cleanse itself of the Pharaoh’s curse of stolen heritage, and all with the help of the Chinese, who also have been victimized by Colonialist powers.  Whether these decontextualized trinkets end up in Beijing or Cairo makes no real difference; the American public should be well satisfied by what will be on display at the museum.”

 No ticket price has yet been decided, but Hanass and other Egyptian officials are confident that Americans will pay almost anything to see stolen Egyptian antiquities recovered from American connoisseurs.   There are even plans for a wall of shame, which will pair  actual antiquities with mug shots of their prior owners, again with generous funding from the PLA and PolE Group.